Saturday, August 6, 2011

And There She Goes

When I turned fifty some friends and I went to Vancouver B.C. to celebrate . Vancouver is where I discovered coffee cream. It is a delicious blend of half & half and heavy cream. So, of course I have used it since then almost every day. Until this diet thing.
Now here I sit sipping my herbal tea instead of my coffee. My coffee that I used to put plenty of coffee cream into. I am not bitter, well not much anyway. I just came home from a trip to Seattle to visit family. I love Seattle. If I could I would move there . Unfortunately the Seattle that I love is the Seattle of gentle rain with the sun breaking thru the clouds ending in a glorious sunset. Not the real Seattle that up until the end of July had a whopping seventy some odd MINUTES of summer. I had a wonderful time. Went out on a boat & we- I say we because I sat holding my seat with both hands while the owner of the boat and my cousin pulled up both crab pots - we got a bunch and I do mean a bunch of crabs. They were Dungeness. We had crab for lunch. With melted butter. It was heaven. The only sound that could be heard once the crabs were out of the cooker was the crunching of shell and the slurping of fingers covered in butter and crabmeat. Maybe a few soft belches now and again. We had crab for dinner the following evening, same scenario only this was indoors, and with wine. And dessert. Have you ever had dark cherry ice cream? The taste of it is so wonderful it almost drowns out the little voices in your head asking you just what the hell are you doing. What really drowns those voices is a good DVD and a couple of whiskey gingers. When I left for Seattle I was dancing around the room because I had lost three (count ‘em 3!!!) pounds. I had this under control now! I knew just what to do to get that tonnage OFF. I could look a chocolate ├ęclair in the eye and say “HAH. Don’t want you so there”. Which is only half true. The hah part. When I returned from Seattle those three pounds had shrunk to one. And the waist on my pants had shrunk as well. Ah me.

So now I am on a very strict diet. It’s supposed to retrain my metabolism into believing that I am not in starvation mode. . . . . Really? Have ya seen my thighs? This butt. . . Starvation? I mean come on !! So for the last week I have been eating five cups of vegetables a day. I have also been drinking five protein shakes a day. But wait there’s more !! I get one frozen diet meal a day!!! And all the water I can get down. Whew !! Who knew?

I am off to the Dr. in a few days to see just how much I have lost (PULEEEZE GOD!!!!). And we will take it from there. Please keep all appendages crossed for me. I am waaaayyy to old for this !!